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Feb. 3rd, 2012 01:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
foolsguineaI made up the name fool's guinea partially in the pursuit of a kind of anonymity, and perhaps more so a kind of self-invention.
I have not maintained the anonymous part well. Early on I just used "foolsguinea" as my online name, an extension of self that made me more distinguishable, not less. Even if one tries to wear a name as a mask. Put enough of yourself in a concocted identity and it may become part of your future self.
I have tried making up other names, but this one I have stuck with as "my" name, albeit getting sick of it a few years in. It's not anonymous in any case.
Still, some part of me likes the idea of being an unknown thing on the internet, a bit vague racially and genderwise. And for a long time that's what I wanted.
But now, I look at the anonymous people of the net generation--my people, I think, more than anyone--and that anonymity, and the attendant culture, seem to be getting in the way of fighting for our capacities.
If we mean to stop the dominance of corporate ownership, not just whine about it on an internet only illusorily anonymous, then anonymity is not enough. The reins of power do not fall to someone who only seeks to hide in a flimsy mask and snark at things, but someone who stands up and takes responsibility.
Is that really what I want? No, I want to be someone quiet and left alone. I am not a high-energy person. But someone has to kick out the devils in power.
So, how does that work?
For me, a new identity is part of it. Whether that means using my birth name, or an alias, in a public kind of way; or actually going more anonymous, becoming something shadowy--it's not going to be what I meant "fool's guinea" to be. That's a humble name, self-mocking, and part of a different phase or aspect of my life.
I have not maintained the anonymous part well. Early on I just used "foolsguinea" as my online name, an extension of self that made me more distinguishable, not less. Even if one tries to wear a name as a mask. Put enough of yourself in a concocted identity and it may become part of your future self.
I have tried making up other names, but this one I have stuck with as "my" name, albeit getting sick of it a few years in. It's not anonymous in any case.
Still, some part of me likes the idea of being an unknown thing on the internet, a bit vague racially and genderwise. And for a long time that's what I wanted.
But now, I look at the anonymous people of the net generation--my people, I think, more than anyone--and that anonymity, and the attendant culture, seem to be getting in the way of fighting for our capacities.
If we mean to stop the dominance of corporate ownership, not just whine about it on an internet only illusorily anonymous, then anonymity is not enough. The reins of power do not fall to someone who only seeks to hide in a flimsy mask and snark at things, but someone who stands up and takes responsibility.
Is that really what I want? No, I want to be someone quiet and left alone. I am not a high-energy person. But someone has to kick out the devils in power.
So, how does that work?
For me, a new identity is part of it. Whether that means using my birth name, or an alias, in a public kind of way; or actually going more anonymous, becoming something shadowy--it's not going to be what I meant "fool's guinea" to be. That's a humble name, self-mocking, and part of a different phase or aspect of my life.
