My cold has a soul
Jan. 6th, 2013 03:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
foolsguineaApparently I need a job.
I don't want a job. I wouldn't like a job. And contrary to what people may think, I did not need a job before now. I had people who would take care of me to a minimum standard, which is all a proletarian really works for in this economy. And I lack ambition, which is what middle-class people work for.
I would have benefited from a job, sure. I'd be better off. But I didn't need one desperately, and it was more attractive to blow all that off. So jobs I had I tended to quit pretty quickly.
But now, yeah, I'm probably going to end up living on the streets or something. Where I can't access my habit (the internet) that tends to get in the way of living the healthy life I'm not living. I wondered about just throwing out my computer. But the last thing I thought I could do for a living involved it.
I've been thinking about why the idea of work is so disgusting to me, but I can read message board threads for hours. I think it's about a mix of stimulation and control. A mix I don't expect to find in any job.
Another thing: Don't tell me to continue my education. I'm almost 40, and if I couldn't hack it when I was younger, I'm certainly not going to be capable now. I am an old dog who can't learn new tricks at the desired speed.
I never really understood work, nor money, nor budgets, nor how people survive. I don't suppose I ever will. It makes no more sense to me than living like a wild beast. But I don't have the patience to live like a wild beast.
So, yeah, apparently I need a job.
I don't want a job. I wouldn't like a job. And contrary to what people may think, I did not need a job before now. I had people who would take care of me to a minimum standard, which is all a proletarian really works for in this economy. And I lack ambition, which is what middle-class people work for.
I would have benefited from a job, sure. I'd be better off. But I didn't need one desperately, and it was more attractive to blow all that off. So jobs I had I tended to quit pretty quickly.
But now, yeah, I'm probably going to end up living on the streets or something. Where I can't access my habit (the internet) that tends to get in the way of living the healthy life I'm not living. I wondered about just throwing out my computer. But the last thing I thought I could do for a living involved it.
I've been thinking about why the idea of work is so disgusting to me, but I can read message board threads for hours. I think it's about a mix of stimulation and control. A mix I don't expect to find in any job.
Another thing: Don't tell me to continue my education. I'm almost 40, and if I couldn't hack it when I was younger, I'm certainly not going to be capable now. I am an old dog who can't learn new tricks at the desired speed.
I never really understood work, nor money, nor budgets, nor how people survive. I don't suppose I ever will. It makes no more sense to me than living like a wild beast. But I don't have the patience to live like a wild beast.
So, yeah, apparently I need a job.
